Haven't posted in awhile. Not really a whole lot to say. I abandoned the MCSE and MS certifications and I want to focus on Networking, Security and Linux. I have had some let downs as some positions that I thought would come through didn't. I had an interview this week for a Network Support position (part time, weekends) and I was called in for an interview for a Network Engineer position later on today. I am going to try something different so lets see how that goes.
I can't sleep. I have been thinking of all the people along the way who have put a title on me: Tech, Helpdesk Agent, Customer Support, Senior Tech, Noc Tech, Line worker, Dishroom support, Son, Brother, Husband, and it occurred to me that I have never put a title on myself. I have always been given these titles. It bothers me, I feel like I have no control of my life. Even now to the state I am a name, an allotted amount of money and an address. I have never really stopped to think Why am I here, and what I am suppose to do in this world. I like IT. I think it is exciting but I don't know if I could remove virus' from machines or replace broken parts for the rest of my working life. I know I don't want to leave IT but lately I have just felt so, small. IDK maybe something will help me gain some perspective. I honestly don't even know how to pray anymore. I am starting this walk through New Testament in 90 days program either today or Sunday because I am looking for something, something to help me make sense of it all.
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I feel ya' young brother. I'm reading a book right now by T.D. Jakes that I think would speak to you -- He-Motions, Even Strong Men Struggle.
ReplyDeleteI hope you take a moment to check it out.
btw, this was my first visit to your blog. I've added a link to it on one of my blogs.
peace, Villager
Thanks for the comment.
ReplyDeleteYes it has been a struggle but hopefully this thing can be resolved pretty soon and I can get back to making this blog my technical and less rant oriented lol